1. |
Figure (Live)
03:56
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i am looking for a place i've been before
but nothing looks the same
i turn down all the right streets
but my eyes keep playing tricks on me
has your figure lost its form
has your figure lost its form
i cannot find you anymore
i cannot find you anymore
and on the j train back to the city
the world was supposed to end and
you said the end is just a symbol
for something we cannot understand
but nothing could prepare
sitting restlessly alone
when the news
came through my phone
has your figure lost its form
has your figure lost its form
i cannot find you anymore
i cannot find you anymore
and that night in berkeley
we sat in a circle and talked about how
we could not believe
and for three years after
i'd wake up smiling but shaken from
talking to you in my dreams
but now so much time has passed
does your spirit stay the same
does the background draw nearer
or does you vision slowly fade
has your figure lost its form
has your figure lost its form
i cannot find you anymore
i cannot find you anymore
so when i get back to my apartment
i pick three books off the shelf
and i read my favorite passages
out loud in the mirror to myself
and i imagine you can hear me
wherever you have found your place
and then i put the books back on the shelf
and just dance the night away
has your figure lost its form
has your figure lost its form
i cannot find you anymore
i cannot find you anymore
has your figure lost its form
has your figure lost its form
i cannot find you anymore
i cannot find you anymore
has your figure lost its form
has your figure lost its form
i cannot find you anymore
i cannot find you anymore
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2. |
Goner (Live)
02:43
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i know that you don't like me and that's okay
i know you don't think about me yeah i feel the same
that night you called me a goner and i'm still here
but i don't think i'll stick around another year
i took a walk downtown in the summer heat
i bought myself iced coffee and i stopped to read
i felt so independent out on my own
then i looked up and saw you laughing on the phone
feel like i'm running in circles but i'm standing still
don't think i'll make it but keep telling myself that i will
the constant silence of my room will be my end
go to shows alone and know that i'll be with my friends
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3. |
Mood Lighting (Live)
03:19
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it's almost three in the morning
and i feel like i'm just starting to get to know you
though i have known you for a long time
we've been sitting in this booth for hours
the lights around the town have long gone dark
and the bartender is yelling last call
you don't wanna go back to your place
i don't wanna go back to mine
you've got some things you've left unsaid
i've got problems i'm trying to hide
can we walk outside
through light pollution, empty streets
i count the times our faces meet
i put my arm around you
and our footsteps fall in sync
i wish i never left new york
i wish i never left new york
i wanna see your face everyday
i know i'm going home so far away
but i miss you when i'm with her
and i miss you when i'm alone
and i miss you when i'm on the phone with my dad
and now we're turning the corner
to your apartment
my heart is racing, don't know how to stop it
but i know
better than to push it
i'm not just a friend
i am your friend
tell me something beautiful
i need to remember what it's like
to feel vulnerable in someone's arms
instead of just feeling tired
i'm not trying to seduce you
i'd just like to spend the night awake together
i think we can make each other better
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4. |
I Think I Like It (Live)
03:35
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can i text you from the bathroom at work
that customer was such a jerk
just want an excuse to talk to you
will you meet me after class
it makes me nervous just to ask
cuz i'm not sure if i'm worth your time
then i come home
sit down at my desk and moan
i am sinking into space
can you see it on my face
you can't come out cuz of the rain
i ran out of weed but that's okay
think it's time to try something new
my doctor prescribed me some pills
so i'll no longer wanna kill myself
if nothing else
i guess that's cool
then i come home
sit down at my desk and moan
i am sinking into space
can you see it on my face
last december i thought i was gonna die
and now just holding your hand
i've never felt more alive
and is this what being alive feels like
is this what being alive feels like
is this what being alive feels like
i think i like it
can i text you from the bathroom at work
that customer was such a jerk
just want an excuse to talk to you
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5. |
Would You Rather (Live)
01:58
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when you're so afraid of being alone
you'd rather go out and force yourself
to talk to people you don't like
and when you feel so sure
the world would be better off without you
do you want to
be someone else
or would you rather just not wake up
or can you tell
well lately every day feels like a hundred years
i wanna give up hope
i wanna disappear
i wonder if anyone would miss me
if i hopped on a bus away from here
and would you rather spend your birthday flying on a plane
or stuck in traffic on the 405
or brooklyn-bound again
and when you're so afraid of being alone
you'd rather go out and force yourself
to talk to people you don't like
and when you feel so sure
the world would be better off without you
do you want to
be someone else
or would you rather just not wake up
or can you tell
when you're so afraid of being alone
you'd rather go out and force yourself
to talk to people you don't like
and when you feel so sure
the world would be better off without you
do you want to
be someone else
or would you rather just not wake up
or can you tell
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6. |
Sincerity (Live)
03:36
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my friend died three years ago today
i woke up and went to work
and then came home and i did nothing
fourth of july, managed to drink enough to speak
i tried to impress somebody
but i don't think it is working
no i don't think this is working
no
spilling my guts on my therapist's couch
for fifty bucks an hour i can leave here
feeling empowered
sip down a milkshake on the walk home
lie down let me get my phone out
three notifications, i'm feeling impatient
i am waiting for someone to call me
i'm waiting for a message that says please come over
i'll meet you at the bar i'll meet you at the show
just don't leave me here alone
all my friends have the most beautiful intentions
amber's telling me to listen to
elliott smith pre-figure 8
and i think i almost get it
yeah it's pretty fucking great
but no one wants to feel lonely
on a tuesday
it's your day off and
the grey finally cleared away
you can see across the whole bay
and you're sitting on the cliff
because it has the clearest view
and the notion falls upon you like a flash flood
you're here because this is what you wanted
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7. |
At Newark Airport (Live)
04:34
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i remember
sitting in your bedroom in santa cruz
the day i told you
this will never be the same
we leave this town
we leave the past and our friends behind
and it's impossible to know what we'll find
so what did you learn in the city
the skyline and the lights are all so pretty
but the ice in the street and the snow in our sheets has
made my bones brittle
my lungs feel little and it's hard to breathe
and it's hard to believe this could ever happen to me
i remember
at lennox house saying goodbye
and on my drunk walk home
i hung my head and cried
leaning on a fire hydrant on chestnut street
i hope my friend looks down on me
and i hope she knows i've missed her everyday
and i hope she can hear as i call out her name
so what did you learn in the city
the skyline and the lights are all so pretty
but the ice in the street and the snow in our sheets has
made my bones brittle
my lungs feel little and it's hard to breathe
and it's hard to believe this could ever happen to me
i remember
at newark airport i almost thought
you wouldn't come back
so on new jersey transit back to penn station
alone in my room in my brooklyn apartment
i waited for your name to light up my phone
and i fell asleep knowing you were back home
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Practicing Sincerity Santa Cruz, California
queer post-punk shoegaze-y indie rock songs about mental health and self-
accountability
liv (they/them), fernly (she/her), steven (he/they), oan (they/them)
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