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my friend died
three years ago today
I woke up and went to work
and then came home and I did nothing
fourth of July
managed to drink enough to speak
I tried to impress somebody
but I don’t think it is working
no I don’t think this is working

spilling my guts
on my therapist’s couch
for fifty bucks and hour
I can leave here feeling empowered
sip down a milkshake on the walk home
lie down let me get my phone out
three notifications
I’m feeling impatient

I am waiting for someone to call me
I am waiting for a message that says
please come over
I’ll meet you at the bar I’ll meet you at the show
just don’t leave me here alone

all my friends have
the most beautiful intentions
Amber’s telling me to listen to
Elliott Smith pre-Figure 8
and I think I almost get it
yeah it’s pretty fucking great

but no one wants to feel lonely
on a Tuesday
it’s your day off and the
grey finally cleared away
you can see across the whole bay
and you’re sitting on the cliff
because it has the clearest view
and the notion falls upon you like a flash flood
you’re here because this is what you wanted


from I Am Coming Home Soon, released July 14, 2017



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Practicing Sincerity Santa Cruz, California

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