1. |
goner
03:51
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I know that you don't like me and that's okay
I know you don't think about me and I feel the same
that night you called me goner and I'm still here
but I don't think I'll stick around another year
I took a walk downtown in the summer heat
I bought myself iced coffee and I stopped to read
I felt so independent out on my own
then I looked up and saw you laughing on the phone
feel like I'm running in circles but I'm standing still
don't think I'll make it but keep telling myself that I will
the constant silence of my room will be my end
go to shows alone and know that I'll be with my friends
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2. |
at newark airport
04:23
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I remember sitting in your bedroom in Santa Cruz
the day I told you
that this would never be the same
we leave this town we leave the past and our friends behind
and it's impossible to know what we'll find
so what did you learn in the city
the skyline and the lights are all so pretty
but the ice in the streets and the snow in our sheets has
made my bones brittle
my lungs feel little and it's hard to breathe
and it's hard to believe this could ever happen to me
I remember at Lennox House saying goodbye
and on my drunk walk home I hung my head and cried
leaning on a fire hydrant on Chestnut Street
I hope my friend looks down on me
and I hope she knows I've missed her everyday
and I hope she can hear as I call out her name
so what did you learn in the city
the skyline and the lights are all so pretty
but the ice in the streets and the snow in our sheets has
made my bones brittle
my lungs feel little and it's hard to breathe
and it's hard to believe this could ever happen to me
I remember at Newark Airport I almost thought
you wouldn't come back
so on New Jersey Transit back to Penn Station
alone in my room in my Brooklyn apartment
I waited for your name to light up my phone
and I fell asleep knowing you were back home
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3. |
stoop life
06:56
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I've been sitting on my stoop
every night on Chauncey Street
drinking beer and smoking weed
thinking about all the people in between
these phases of my life
people I've lost and who I've left behind
people I'll never see again
who I once considered my close friends
and I haven't figured out much
but I've learned how to take life day by day
sometimes it takes all that I've got
to know that everything will be okay
I cried
when I told my dad I was moving back to California
and I lied
when I told my ex-best friend that I forgave him
but mid-flight
I know I'll miss the lights of the friends I leave behind
so tonight
let's try to make things right
I'm sorry, this is goodbye
I've never felt this old in my entire life
but I'm young enough so it's alright
cuz though my back may hurt when I get off work
and my legs may ache and want to break
and on the train ride back to Bed-Stuy
my mind is tethered to a sleepless heap
of flesh and bone and varicose veins
the struggle somehow keeps me sane
I'm sorry you heard it from me
but the winter's too cold in this city
and the buildings so tall are no forrest at all
I can't see New York for the trees
and I know it sucks but it's true
I'm probably leaving here just for you
but that's too much to swallow
I swear that I'll call every day
I am coming home soon
I cried
when I told my dad I was moving back to California
and I lied
when I told my ex-best friend that I forgave him
but mid-flight
I know I'll miss the lights of the friends I leave behind
so tonight
let's try to make things right
I'm sorry, this is goodbye
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4. |
cool breeze
06:37
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living in our parents' houses is getting old
all our friends moved out of our hometowns
it's a forty minute drive into the city
I think I'd rather kill myself than look for parking
oh La Cienega, oh Sunset Strip
Laurel Canyon, the La Brea Tar Pits
a waxing moon over Griffith Park
think I could live here if I had a car
I drove to Orange County on a whim
to see you and fix this rut we're in
I know it's stressful wondering what comes next
it's getting harder to keep trying my best
from our motel room we could hear the waves
we crash into each other and get displaced
things will be better soon I know it's true
so many great things will happen to you
we packed all of our stuff into your car
couldn't see out the back windshield, hope the engine starts
at a rest stop north of Santa Barbara
we tried to feel the cool breeze of a new era
I crashed on couches for about three weeks
you started your new job in a neighboring city
now we're just trying to make the pieces fit
waiting for that moment that tells you this is it
this is it, this is it
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Practicing Sincerity Santa Cruz, California
queer post-punk shoegaze-y indie rock songs about mental health and self-
accountability
liv (they/them), fernly (she/her), steven (he/they), oan (they/them)
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